"And I can barely tell the sky from the shoreline.
And I can see myself reflecting in your eyes."


I wish I could saw the things I want to say....

12/28 Phoenix, AZ w/ RED SON
12/29 Albuquerque, NM w/ RED SON
12/30 Canon City, CO w/ RED SON
12/31 Denver, CO w/ RED SON
1/1 Kansas City, KS w/ RED SON
1/2 Lincoln, NE
1/3 Waterloo, IA
1/4 Springfield, Il
1/5 Dayton, OH
1/6 Buffalo, NY
1/7 Boston, MA w/ PRODUCT OF WASTE
1/8 Wallingford, CT
1/9 Richmond, VA
1/10 Baltimore, MD w/ RUINER, MINDSET
1/11 Lexington, KY
1/12 St Louis, CO
1/13 Springfield MO
1/14 Tulsa, OK
1/15 Oklahoma City, OK
1/16 Amarillo, TX
1/17 Burque, NM

Are you okay? Are you all right?
Another bad dream kept you up all night
You've ground your teeth down to the gums
Your eyes are bloodshot from staring at the sun

You say you're okay, you're keeping the pace
But the damage done is written all over your face

Given the chance I'd rather rot in hell
Than see you fade selling the lies they tell
We'll burn the house down and break the spell this time
It's time

So what do you say? We'll go tonight
We'll take a load of bad drugs and stay up all night
We'll ride away sleep where we fall
We'll slit our own throats, bathe in the waterfall

'Cause I can see it all over your face
You've been numb for days and days
Your back is breaking under the load
Your head is pounding like it's ready to explode

Given the chance I'd rather rot in hell
Than see you fade selling the lies they tell
We'll burn the house down and break the spell this time
It's time

I think its funny how childish some people can act. Assumptions without a basis are hilarious. Let's grow up, this isn't 8th grade.

I wish people were adult enough to confront me about things rather than hold a grudge based on someone else's version of the story. I understand that people are going to be upset with me, its to be expected, but for Christ's sake at least be upset at me AFTER hearing my thoughts and feelings on the issue. I know that's too much to ask though.

I really hate for this to come off as me giving a fuck, because I don't. There are just more people than me affected by this and that isn't okay.

End rant.

On a more important note, The Loved Ones and Touche Amore are my new favorite bands.

Winter tour is almost completely booked and we have some incredible shows ahead of us. I am beyond excited to be able to play 5 shows with Red Son. I am also really looking forward to having Lexy in the van with us. Good times are sure to be had.

I'm scared to death and there isn't anything I can do to change/help my situation.

Dear Multiple Sclerosis,

Fuck off.

Sincerely,
Sarah

"I don't know but I've been told that a New York winter is mighty cold, but we still walk down to the coldest blocks using the fire in our hearts..."

For all intents and purposes, I'm dead. The alarm clock sets my fate and tonight this place means nothing. Just concrete walls dressed in photographs of people I've never met. These are the things you think about when you can't get to bed, but I've heard it said that the toughest times will end, but I've heard enough to know that those are just the flimsy affirmations from your friends, so I'll take what I can get from another night laying here open eyed thinking about the reasons I'm alone again. With every tick this clock can take I'm lying underneath these sheets closing my eyes bears no escape. For troubled minds these darkened rooms are getting smaller by the day. These are the longest nights of your young life so plan accordingly. CANT SLEEP WONT SLEEP.

I don't recommend getting a half sleeve.

New Ready Resist song.



Your thoughts?


East coast tour in less than two months. Who has a Northface jacket I can borrow?

So, I was thinking.... How incredible would it be to cross a pear with an apple? Does this exist already? My mouth is watering just thinking about the possibilities. Now I'm wondering what it would be called? A ap-pear? A pearpple? Something to ponder.

I've been doing a decent job of cooking vegan meals lately. I still hate cooking, but whatever. My body still isn't too stoked on soy products, but I'm doing my best to avoid them. Speaking of vegan food, I'm really jealous that Run with the Hunted is in Boston right now and could potentially be eating at Grasshopper... Jerks.

My nose still hurts, my head is still pounding, I'm still getting dizzy when I move around too much, and my eye is still black, but I guess it could be worse.

I realize after re-reading my first paragraph, that I may sound like I'm on drugs, but I'm really not. Just vertigo medication. Really.

I wish I had something more meaningful to say...

I guess if I were to choose a time to break my face, it would be during a Rancid cover set...

This is the best thing I've heard in a while....



Some nights I thirst for real blood
For real knives
For real cries
And then the flash of steel from real guns
In real life
Really fills my mind

And I really miss what really did exist
When I held your throat so tight
And I miss the bus as it swerved from us
Almost came crashing to its side

Sometimes the blood from real cuts
Feels real nice
When it's really mine
And if you want it to be real
Come over for one night
And we can really, really climb

And those blue bridge lights might really burn most bright
As we watch that dark lake rise
And if you really want to see what really matters most to me
Just take a real short drive

It's just a drive into the dark stretch
Long stretch of night
Will really stretch this shaking mind
And this room, unlit, unheated
And the ceiling striped
And the dark black blinds

I want to know this time if you're really finally mine
I need to know that you're not lying so I want to see you tried
And I don't want to hear you say it shouldn't really be this way
'Cause I like this way just fine

'Cause there's nothing quite like the blinding light
That curtains cast aside
And no attempt is made to explain away
The things that really, really, really, really, really are behind

You can't hide
You can't hide
You can't hide

You can't hide
You can't hide
You can't hide

I can't.....

I wont be home for a while....


The funeral is Saturday.
At least I got to see him.
I don't know how to handle this.
Fuck.

Where were your arms when the wind was so cold?
Where were your hands when the time was so hard to hold?

My mom and I are driving 12 hours to Utah tomorrow to see my uncle. We are leaving at 6:00am. He has cancer and is fading fast. Getting kicked in the stomach by a giant would feel better than this.

12/29 Phoenix, AZ
12/30 Canon City, CO w/ CROOKED WAYS
12/31 Denver, CO w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/2 Omaha, NE w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/3 Waterloo, IA w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/4 Springfield, IL w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/5 Dayton, OH w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/6 Buffalo, NY w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/7 Long Island, NY w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/8 Virginia Beach, VA w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/9 Richmond, VA w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/10 Baltimore, MD w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/11 Wilmington, NC w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/12 Nashville, TN w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/13 Columbia, MO w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/14 Little Rock, AK w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/15 Tulsa, OK w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/16 Amarillo, TX w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/17 Albuquerque, NM w/ CROOKED WAYS
1/18 Phoenix, AZ – DAY OFF
1/19 Tucson, AZ
1/20 San Diego, CA
1/21 Riverside, CA
1/22 Los Angeles, CA
1/23 Ventura, CA
1/24 Santa Barbara, CA
1/25 Fresno, CA
1/26 Berkley, CA
1/27 Sacramento, CA
1/28 Reno, NV
1/29 Redding, CA
1/30 Portland, OR
1/31 Seattle, WA
2/1 Seattle, WA – DAY OFF
2/2 Boise, ID
2/3 Driving Day
2/4 Salt Lake City, UT
2/5 Las Vegas, NV
2/6 Flagstaff, AZ
2/7 Home – Happy Birthday Sarah!

I got a phone call on Tuesday night asking if Ready Resist would be interested in doing an east coast and southern states tour on top of our west coast and midwest tour. This is all becoming so real. I'm overwhelmed but excited. I had a meeting with my boss yesterday and she is giving me the full two months off with a guaranteed job when I get back. Actually, she made me promise that I would come back. This makes me feel good. We will be hitting the road the last week of December and will be on the road through most of February. Typing this out makes me realize how crazy things got so quickly. How did this happen?

This time next week, I will be on a plane to Boston. I can't even explain how excited I am to leave Phoenix.



Well, that's that.

What's best for everyone is bound to hurt somebody.
What's best for everyone is killing me.


I'm pobably not going to poston here for while.